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The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. The sex, when she has time to see me, is phenomenal. What should I do? The Answer Reader, I am sympathetic. But something about this married woman got you. The curve of her leg, or her smile, or her intoxicating laugh. And now, you, foolish person that you are, are stuck on someone unavailable. Sometimes often, in fact what the stupid heart wants is stupid.
She knows her husband inside and out. She knows about the foot smell. She smiles back at his yellow-toothed smile. But now you come along and you Ruin Everything. That she developed this dream is understandable enough. Any human with functioning glands sees an attractive person and instantly fantasizes about what a magical unicorn they must be, and keeps that dream going as long as possible. My heart is in shambles. We get the bill and Im married and dating someone for our unfinished food. I say nothing and drive home alone in tears.
In truth, this was an infrequent occurrence. Maybe that made it worse? I suppose the fault is mine. So why did I do it? Why does anyone do it? At the start of it all, the perks of the situation swam happily in my mind. Imagine the absence of committed responsibility! I was a secure, confident woman and was not willing to compromise my life for a relationship and everything that came with it. Like most modern women, I felt I only needed a man for one thing, and a coupled lifestyle was not that thing. So I figured, who better than a married man? Moreover, a married man with kids! He had his responsibilities with his wife and family.
There would be no awkward morning-afters, no constant phone calls or texts. I could have all the space I wanted and I would hear no complaints from his end. It would be easy and stress-free. But what started out as a simple, no-strings-attached relationship or at least the illusion of one evolved into much more. You can never have your cake and eat it too. Either way, we grew to rely on one another. And the casual friendship-with-benefits morphed into a caring, loving relationship. I could see the aurora dancing in his eyes when he saw me, and he could see the sparkle in mine.
We knew each other inside and out, our lives so intertwined we were hard to tell apart. I thought I had it all figured out. Or for him to fall in love with me.
What I thought could be something simple ended up being a stressor. We had to hide. I was jealous and angry and crazily in love, and at times, so hurt I could barely stand. I hate being second in line, yet I was. Advertisement I know this because I am Im married and dating someone such a relationship. When I started dating my husband, I was 28 and he was He was divorced with an ex-wife his same age and and year-old sons. Today, we are a unique, blended family of the two of us and four sons — ages 26, 24, 4 and 2.
At 15 years old, I did not imagine my future husband was presently married and raising children of his own. He was willing to have children again, and I was willing to take on the risks of having children with someone already in their 50s. I left a bad relationship and fell in love with a man who is an amazing partner and father.
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